We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
