What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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