I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize