Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize