So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
