No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
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