Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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