If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm like, not good at living.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
