I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
