Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize