I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
