i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
