We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
