it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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