i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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