Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
found the other keg... it's in the tree
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
