How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize