babies were throwing up all over the place
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
