Already got asked if we're dating
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
