she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
