things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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