Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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