please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
