my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
