I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
