I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
