You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
