I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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