just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
