Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
