Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
