Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
