Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
