I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
