I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
