Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
