Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
