I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
