pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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