she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize