who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
