Don't you send me to vm
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
