1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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