Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
