he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
