It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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