after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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