So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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