this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You ate ashes out of my bong
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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