If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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