need another drink. this is the easiest way
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
