there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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