There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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