I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I'm really busy with my period
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