I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
