i barfeds in our rink
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
