So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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