Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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