And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
