she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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