Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
