You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Shame is for Republicans.
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