Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize