very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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