bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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