And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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