Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
