It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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