So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
