Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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