Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
