Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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