WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
